Tell me I'm smart!
by themarkmachine2000
Summary: I am the smartest


It's a cloudy Tuesday, it is 1:45 pm, and I've slipped undetected into the Kaffine Coffee Shop. Why? Because I adore my friends, but quite frankly, they often forget what genius I am, and I'm rather offended by that. So this is their reminder. (NOTE: I will continually point out the time as a way of timing myself)

I'm nestled away at the window counter, a fair a close distance to the bar, but it's the perfect distance to watch everything that's going on and they're too busy to notice me anyway. Its lunch hour on their busiest day. Konrad is busy chattering with a black girl with a camera, Nero and Mr. Wonderful are on the opposite side making goo-goo eyes at each other, and CJ is running around taking and full filling orders. Poor fucker. How he manages to deal with working in customer service, I'll never understand. People are annoying.  
The place is bustling, but despite all the people moving in and out, there are some that are unmoving and seem to be quite at home here. Clearly regulars. They're obviously part of the social circle around here. There are (not counting the dweebs that I know already) 26 people who appear to be regulars. 1:48 pm. Even some of the employees appear to be regulars, and not just work wise. This is a hang out spot. A place of refuge.

However, some of these people are clearly related to one another, so that is how I intend to split this up so simpler minds can comprehend it. Those that appear to have no relation to one another will be done last.

First family group is the one near Nero and Mr. Wonderful. Two sisters and a brother. Names are Tali, Kael, and Iris. Tali is talking with Nero and Mr. W, based on me reading their lips, they appear to be having basic small talk. Tali is a self-made woman. Literally. I probably wouldn't say this to her (because I'm not THAT tactless) but her wide shoulders, large hands, and obvious femininity suggest she is a transgender woman. 1:49 pm. Kael is very quiet. It's difficult to tell what his sexuality or gender preferences are, but he's delicate, shy, and reserved. Perhaps an introvert. Most likely an introvert. 1:50 pm. Iris is also quiet, but the bracelets, jacket, and attitude she's giving off suggest she's a hipster-y type but doesn't know how to convey it. This suggest a bit of social awkwardness. Most likely similar to the brother. 1:51 pm.

The next family group is…. Interesting. I've already drawn some conclusions that make me wonder about other things such as their deeper lives and what they've been through and how the influenced who I'm thinking of, but I need to take a step back so that others can comprehend where my mind is going with this. 1:52 pm. There are three brothers and a sister. The sister's name is Taylor. She clearly dislikes her brothers. Constantly bickering with them, calling them out, starting arguments over nothing. Very confrontational. She doesn't like men. Probably physically aggressive at times. Most likely has a deeper reason for her clear dislike of men. She is almost exactly like Mara, that sassy bitch. 1:53 pm. Blair is one of the brothers. He is meticulous, organized, has a sense of clarity about him. Everything about him is rather clean-cut. He's organized, but not too extremely. Appears to be smug about it. Probably does his homework too well (the nerd). Sense of superiority is subtle. 1:54 pm. The next brother is Nolan. He's also a hipster, but he actually knows how to do it right. He's that guy that knew about that garage band before they were a garage band. But, due to his seemingly random and "I knew that before it was cool" interests, he seems to be a bit of a loner. But then again, if I had siblings as weird as his, I would be more of a loner too. 1:55 pm. Elliott is the final brother. I feel like I already know him. Perhaps it's because I do. He is very much like my dear friend Mr. Wonderful. He even looks like Mr. W, but without the cool birth mark. He's a punk rock asshole dork that thinks he's tough but loves cute things (especially cute people *wink wink nudge nudge*) he's complicated, doesn't take shit, and is more clever than he looks. I would also bet actual money that he loves to cuddle and likes to be the little spoon. He also has a crush on Kael. 1:56 pm.

The next family group is the creepiest set of twins I have ever laid eyes on. They seem like they should be in the fucking Shining. They finish each other's sentences, but not in a silly way. In a "we're secret robots" kind of way. Like goddamn. I hope my kids don't pull that creepy perfect unison "our brains are so connected we aren't sure who is who" bullshit. But my asshole comments aside, Richelle (Ricky) and Isacc are their names. They're quiet, in sync, kind of creepy, and hang around the most interesting family group here, which I will be saving for last because reasons. (But of fucking COURSE the creepy ones hang around the weird interesting ones like what the fuck). 1:57 pm.

These next ones are working men, but not quite Konrad's speed. Oh no, these brothers work at the shop together. Ryan and Jace are behind the counter with CJ and the oldest brother, Logan, is the manager. He's come to pick up the cash box, and is pleasantly socializing with customers. Logan is a friendly but serious business man. He clearly cares about his business and puts work into dealing with asshole customers in the nicest way possible. This means that not only is he calm in the face of fire, but he's level headed and smart. He also looks like the guy that got to fake date Taylor Swift in the "Blank Space" video and I am so fucking jealous of that. Even if he's just a look alike. In some alternate universe that fucker got to fake date Taylor Swift. Asshole. 1:58 pm. Jace is the youngest brother and is the 'cool guy' who is quiet, a bit aloof, and has a strong and silent persona. Most likely does this to try and stand out among his brothers and be noticed without being noticed. Probably isn't too fond of working in Logan's shop and wants nothing more than to find his true self. That hippy-ass motherfucker. 1:59 pm. Ryan is the middle brother, but I saved him for last as Ryan is quite similar to someone else I already know- Robin. He's flirty, outgoing, friendly, funny, charming, and will probably fuck anyone that will fuck with him. This leads me to believe he is also pansexual and is fond of sex with no strings attached. He's good friends with Elliot. This implies that their counter parts (Robin and Mr. W) are closer than what I once assumed. 2:00 pm.

The girl talking to Konrad is Tori. She's bold, black, and doesn't need your bullshit. She and Konrad are obviously extremely close. I would go as far as to wager she's one of the closest people to him. She's a photographer. Sees the beauty and potential for art in everything, so everything in the form of art is what she makes. She kind of reminds me of Amethyst. Goofy, fun loving, loves food and sleeping. All a good wager on this girl. 2:01 pm.

The next random one is Gabriel. He's covered in werewolf bites, so obviously someone is a bit of a howler. He's a Christian judging by the giant ass cross around his neck, he's most likely a conservative one since he seems to be a bit awkward and slightly intimidated by all these friendly queers. Though his mannerisms make me wonder if he isn't closeted himself. But anyway. Wolf, loner, awkward, super religious. 2:02 pm.

Delilah is another random one. She's quite the little actress. Reminds me of Elle Woods in Legally Blonde. Plays dumb but is much smarter than anyone could ever assume. Her build and posture suggest model. Her style of dressing says she cares about her appearance and loves fashion. I would also bet she likes sex. Mostly because she's the kind of girl I would pick up on a Saturday night back in the day. Goddamn those chicks were always a wild ride. 2:03 pm.

These two are a bit of a family group, but they're Nero's siblings. Nova and Nico. They both wear glasses, which means Nero should probably wear his. (Really how the fuck do you expect to baby sit if you can't fuckin see? You're gonna pick up my dog thinking it's my kid asshole 3). They're both talented musicians and each have quite the set of pipes on them, but she's shy, reserved, and quiet. Most her self-expression comes in musical forms and she's more confident on camera than she is in real life. He on the other hand is that awkward cute friendly that Nero is. What the fuck are words. I don't know how else to explain it. No one could be mean to this fuckin family. Not even me. Stupid precious little cinnamon rolls. 2:05 pm.

The next one is called AJ. She is the punkest of punk rock. She's probably that person that said "it's not a phase mum! It's who I am" as a 13 year old and now and as a young adult shouted "SUCK A DICK MUM I TOLD YOU IT WASN'T A PHASE." She's got wildly colored hair, bold punky clothes, high heels and a take no shit attitude. She's a boss ass bitch (bitch bitch…) 2:06 pm.

This fuckin dweeb would get along with my cousin Duncan really well. His name is Kayden and I've been resisting the urge to fucking facepalm for every time he makes a bad joke. I've seen him on camera before, he's musically talented and has no off switch for this dweeb-ness. He's probably fairly polite, respectful, friendly, and of course, charms people with dorkiness. And is a social butterfly. He's also openly bisexual. A small dorky queer that thinks everyone is cute. 2:07 pm.

Now for another set of twins that are significantly less creepy, but significantly more hung over. They're Hasan and Diana. Partiers, outgoing, drinkers, social, and rather wild. Both wearing sunglasses, avoiding the windows, not looking into lights, and trying to drown out sound. These two were fucking smashed last night. Lay off the vodka, you lot, it will make you do stupid things like post nudes to tumblr that were supposed to be for your boyfriend. Also probably vampires. 2:08 pm.

Sam, the foxiest, is next on the list. (I hate myself for typing that already). He's one of Konrad's boyfriends and he's… something. He's friendly, witty, clever, and a smart ass that's always quick with a smile. However, that's who he has been trained to be by everyone's least favorite dick head. He runs the club Konrad works at and is business savvy. He also allows himself to get his ass kicked to protect Konrad and that idiot Matteo, so I think that says something cheesy about the size of his heart. 2:09 pm.

This little shit head is called Discord. The kid lives up to his name. Irish, prankster, joker, dork, and goes his own way. He's running about the place pranking the regulars. But they aren't seemingly harmless like whoopi cushions or a pie to the face. He does things like dumping coffee on people and then laughing about it. I don't think he's particularly cruel, I think he's that guy that wants so badly to be the funny one that he just doesn't know when and where to draw the line and stop. He obviously wants attention. And a lot of it. 2:10 pm.

And queen of the preps goes to Pheobe! She's perky, a little shy, awkward, and cheerful. She's the kind of girl that would pledge a sorority and then be super into it and talk about it constantly while getting her nails done. Prom queen type, but not a shallow person. 2:11 pm.

Now for the fucking mother lode. The family group I saved for last and is easily the most fascinating- Paige, Hunter, and Damian. These clowns are really quite the trio. Paige has a dark sense of humor, fairly snarky and isn't one to take shit. Hunter is a punk rock nerd and Elvis wanna be. Damian is a mysterious fashion lover. But my oh my are they soooo much more than that. The dark humor, the smirk, the calm attitudes, the speech patterns, and the way they look. These three are Emersons. How do I know that? Because I'm a fuckin genius, that's why. But really. 1) They look similar to Marco. It isn't exact, it's subtle, but it's still fairly close. How could this happen? Camden had a brother who was disowned. Not killed. Disowned. Why wouldn't he want to start again? Have an actual family? I would bet anything these are his kids. 2) The fucking smirk. What else do I need to say? 3) They hold themselves, act, and speak like Emersons do. Meaning their father probably didn't drop all his old etiquette habits. It's so damned obvious, how has no one fucking noticed that Marco's secret cousins hang out here? I'm only 98% sure as of right now. But if I were to ask their father's name, they would probably say "Louis, why?" and I would be so fucking smug. I'm right. I know I am. 2:16 pm.


End file.
